Politics

No, I’m not talking the “Super Tuesday” kind. That’s a whole other blog entirely.

I’m talking politics of the corporate kind. The Company disclaims that we are the kind of company that engages in corporate politics. Our CEO mentioned something like this about a year ago in a little get together with employees. To which I wanted to yell “HA!”

Those that think they do it the least tend to be the biggest offenders.

Today one of my employees brought an idea to me. A pretty good idea. A contract to cover a service that a small but meaningful population of people at The Company are using (at list price) and placing on expense reports.

This contract would get us 1) control, 2) visibility into spend on this commodity and 3) moderate cost savings.

After all, in a recession year, “cost savings” is on the tongue of every executive, right?

And as The Boss, the one The Employee trusts, I had to respond, “I don’t know, let me ask Next Level Boss”. Why? Because the supplier is a competitor of a “business partner” that we use at The Company in other commodity areas.

I said, rightly, “I don’t want someone to ask ‘What the $%^#! is Procurement doing!” Because they like to ask that. A lot.

So it’s not so simple as “this is the right thing to do”. It’s “this is politically the correct thing to do and everyone has been appropriately apprised and agreeable and want numbers and reporting and an extensive business case before going forward.”

No wonder my hardworking employee rolled eyes at me when walking out of my office.

I hate to discourage that kind of creative thinking. And that’s what politics can do. You either play them or they play you.

Entrepreneurial

Had a chance to interview a candidate yesterday for a job. This person has a pretty long history of working in various forms of MRO Procurement. She’s a “Procurement Guy,” to use my own vernacular.

I asked her what was her favorite part about the job. She said she loves doing Procurement (god help her) and loves “the win” at the end of the deal.

I know the feeling. That high I’d get closing a big deal or an especially hard negotiation was addictive. It’s what has kept me in Procurement for some 15 years. But like a true addict, it’s takes a lot more to get me ‘that thrill’ these days.

Then I asked this candidate what is her most challenging part of the job.

She replied, “those people, I think they call them rogue…”

“Ah yes,” I said, “entrepreneurial.”

She laughed and said, “I like that, I’m going to use it.”

The bain of us all. A common theme for us Procurement Guys. That client who thinks they know better. Who can’t wait. Who doesn’t care. Who is willing to expose The Company to untold dollars of liability.

Yeah. Been thinking about that a lot lately because as we settle into the post-holiday slow down, a lot of “rogue” deals are cropping up. “Uh, we signed this contract but the supplier isn’t doing a good job. They say we can’t cancel the contract, can you fix this?”

Uh. No. You signed a bad deal. Good luck with that!

But no, it’s my job to fix it. To get down in the ugly morass.

Yesterday I got a hold of a contract for some half a million dollars. It was attached to a purchase requisition. It isn’t signed by the supplier. It *is* signed by an executive VP of The Company. With no date. Just an autograph.

What do you do when the Rogue Spender has a title *much* higher than your own?

Why, you call on your old friends Sarbanes and Oxley! That’s what you do!

*sigh* Long week around here. Happy to see the weekend ahead.

The good news is that the job candidate earned herself a second round. I like her style.

How do you measure up?

This is a bit of a continuation from yesterday…

Surprisingly, I didn’t get “that look” today.

Mister Vice-President was in an expansive mood, and that helps.

So I faced the issue head on. I asked him “What do *you* consider to be success criteria for MRO Procurement?”

And he gave a thoughtful reply about contracting reps having “grace under pressure”, about being able to deep dive with a supplier when you are stretched thin, about being more professional, etc.

I said, “I agree, but based on that, how do you, in your position, know if we did a good job today and a worse job tomorrow?”

He actually admitted that it’s a problem. And that there isn’t a good objective measurement.

Today I used a lesson I’ve found to be useful many a time. Sometimes you defray the negative by facing it head on.

I believe the new buzz word for that is “managerial courage”.

Meanwhile, I get to keep my badge and am rewarded by getting more work.

That’s the real procurement cycle, unfortunately.

You either get it or you don’t

Been thinking a lot this week. What do you do when your boss isn’t a “procurement guy”, but you are? Meaning, you are employed as a procurement guy, but your upper management feels that “buying a widget is buying a widget.” Meaning they think what you do is no great shakes.

I don’t even mean my immediate manager. He’s not a procurement guy, but at least is able to admit what he doesn’t know. And asks questions.

No, I’m talking about the boss of my boss. He’s a successful guy by all accounts. Been at The Company for, like, ten years. But he’s a manufacturing guy. He counts piece parts and Work in Progress. He wants spreadsheets and numbers and charts and graphs.

When you work MRO procurement, it’s not so easily charted and graphed.

I have to meet with him tomorrow morning. Big doings in these parts. And he’s going to expect me to produce numbers he can analyze, write down in columns and add up. Parse. Add, subtract, multiply and divide.

When you work on “the art of the deal” it’s hard to count piece parts.

I can count contracts placed…but that doesn’t tell which took six months to close and which took six days. Dollars won’t give you any indication either. Cost savings? Maybe, but I can save more on a big overblown hardware deal than I can on a low margin maintenance deal and both take a lot of time.

*sigh*

I’m going to get “that look” again, aren’t I?

Trade Show Love

Or better titled, Schwag-a-Riffic!

Tomorrow I get to attend the annual MacWorld Show, Expo, and Circus, at the behest of my employer.

I’ve been attending this thing since the early ’90’s and it’s always interesting to see how it evolves over the years.

Back in the day when I did both Comdex and MacWorld, the schwag rolled in a’plenty. Iomega used to give away boxes of buttons with wry sayings on them. And they were a “must have” in the show. People would walk around with pride wearing ten or twenty of the things. Brilliant free advertising, no?

Also back in the day, they would literally THROW t-shirts at you. I could pack my suitcase plumb full of the things. Many were used to buff my car, or clean my guitar, or check the grease in my car. I would also get nice pens, posters, disks, badge lanyards, key rings, and squeezy stress balls.

Since the bubble burst on the dot com thang, the level of schwag has tapered back A LOT. It’s slim pickin’s these days.

Going on day three of the show means I might still be able to net some stuff, but the really good stuff is already gone. And to get a dust rag t-shirt I gotta sign up at the booth, give them all my info and listen to some speechifying. Nah, I’ll pass.

The one factor that helps, though, is those little badges you have to wear on the exhibit floor. See, they put your company’s name on there. And when exhibitors see that I work for “The Company” they really, really want me to talk to them. When they hear I’m in Procurement, sometimes the good schwag comes out.

Now, nothing to violate my company’s kickback rules, of course, but I’m not adverse to schilling for a company if they have some useful schwag.

Honestly, expectations are not high. But if I score anything good I’ll post photos.

Meanwhile, I usually tuck my badge into my jacket and keep my name and company hidden. Otherwise I’ll never get through the floor. Ugh.

I’ll report back on Friday, ok?

Living La Vida Telco

I’ve decided to start living my life like a big Telco company. They all have this beautifully archaic way of doing business that they’ve been getting away with for *years*. So maybe it’s time to apply their concepts to my life.

Minimum commitments:

Why yes! It’s brilliant. I need to have a minimum revenue commitment with my employer! Yes! We agree on a price (my salary), and then I add language to our employment agreement that says, “If employer terminates the employment contract, upon termination Employer must pay the applicable amount of recurring salary multiplied by the number of months remaining in the Employment Period.” And then I say, “on average, I stay at a company for five years”. So I stay a year, screw around and get fired, and they owe me a lump sum payout of salary for the next four as well.

Niiiiice!

Service Level Agreements:

There are none. I won’t sign up to what level of work I’ll perform in that first year. Nope! I’ll talk about how there are so many “variables” that are “out of my control” that don’t provide for me to sign up to anything like an SLA. No SLA’s really contributes to that “screw around and get fired,” mentioned above. If I’m lucky, I don’t even have to put in a whole year. A few months should get ‘er done!

Or if I *have* to agree to an SLA, I’ll make it so broad, so general, and so toothless that it will never really impact me. Yay!

And if accused of missing an SLA, I’ll turn around and blame my Employer! I’ll coerce them into believing THEY are at fault for my issues.

Exclusivity:

Oh yeah, I’ll write in my Employment Contract that they can’t POSSIBLY retain anyone else to do the work that I do! It’s all about ME!

And then when they want to take it out, I’ll “fall out” as a friend of mine says. I’ll make a big deal about it. Oh, I’ll eventually give it up, but I’ll make ‘em pay. I’ll get something good for giving up that point. Like more vacation. Bonuses. Stock. Something good, see?

Hidden charges and perks in tiny font at the back of the deal or in a separate “Employment Guide”:

Oh yes, the “Employement Guide”, that’s BRILLIANT! A separate document that negates anything I don’t like in the deal. In really, really small type. Almost unreadable!

And I’ll publish it online. I’ll put the link in the Employment Contract and say that any changes will be published at the embedded link. And I have no obligation to notify anyone about changes, no, it is the Employer’s responsibility to check that online link. Yes!

Or if they balk at that, I’ll put, like, an attachment F on the deal and put all the teeny tiny type there. Then I’ll say “oh this is just for regulatory purposes, you know, required. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

Hee! I’m deviously rubbing my hands together and cackling. This is just a sampling of the outdated business practices I can use for my own benefit.

Practices that should have died with the rotary phone……

Presto Chango!

Below is a tale…wish I could say it’s an instructional fable. It’s not a fable. It’s my job. Today.

I’ll give you the punch line first…the moral of this story is thus:

Procurement DOES have value. And here ’tis:

On Friday I received a frantic call from The Client. They have a contract dating back to 2004. They didn’t bother to talk to Procurement or Legal about it, they just signed.

And now, they are displeased with the service. Very displeased. They want to cancel the contract. They even tried. The supplier said, in essence, “sorry, Charlie, you have a contract you can’t get out of.”

Thus the call to me, panic rising in The Client’s voice. “Is this true?”

“Send me what you signed, let me take a look.”

So I open the .pdf and am gratified to see that the VERY FIRST paragraph says:

“…blah blah blah, term is from this date to that date and thereafter one year renewal periods continuing until either party terminates…”

Well, so that looks good, right? You look at the front page and all feels warm and nice.

But I didn’t get this far in this job by getting the warm fuzzies from page 1.

So I keep turning. Turns out the LAST paragraph of this deal causes the bunny to be turned into a wilted bouquet of flowers, ALAKAZAM!

It says: “During the term blah blah blah Customer may not terminate this agreement…”

Ok, I think, we are WELL past the original term.

But wait, there’s more!!

“…any renewal term may be terminated by giving notice 180 days prior to the commencement of the renewal….”

Six. Fracking. Months. In advance.

And that’s how the supplier can cunningly change what seems to be a good deal into a great big steaming heap.

Ta daaaaaaa!

Ugh. Today, I have to somehow explain to The Client that they are on the hook for another year. And oh by the way, send the termination letter NOW for next year.

See, for the cost of a couple hours of my time, I could have saved them the cost of their monthly obligation, which is FAR in excess of my own meager salary (plus that of our in-house counsel).

Here’s hoping this client learned their lesson. One down, so many, many more to go.

But it’s not my deal!

Had an incident today that is all too familiar. Got a call from a client. They are having troubles with a supplier. I won’t go into too many details, just to keep it clean here.

But it’s bad.

And so the client called with the usual angry “What does the contract with XYZ Widget Company say about this!?!?!”

It made me wince. I know that contract. It’s *awful*.

See, there is a LOT of turnover at The Company. Especially in Procurement. And over the last several years, we’ve churned through a lot of contracting representatives, not all of them top notch.

So I went to our database and downloaded the .pdf of the signed deal. I looked through the scant three pages (you gotta know if there are three pages of text to cover a multimillion dollar deal, someone is gonna get screwed. Sadly in this case, it’s us) and found that, as expected, the contract was utterly mausoleum silent on this particular contentious topic.

We have no leg to stand on. And I mentioned this to my client. Then I felt it necessary to hastily add, “I didn’t do this contract.”

Next, I went to the “history” and scanned the list of contracting people who have owned it over the years. Then said “ugh”. The name of the originator of the deal is one I know. A useless turd of a person.

So now, some four years after their departure, the turd’s legacy continues, unabated.

I have to clean up a really big mess on a contract I didn’t even originate. When the time comes to start pointing fingers, I’m not the only one who will turn to our database to take a look and see MY name on this deal.

If you are the kind of procurement person who sticks around in an organization for a while, this will inevitably happen to you. Sooner or later ever you’ll own a crap contract that predates you but you have to clean up after it.

It’s one of my least favorite aspects of the job.

Ok, back to it. I have many miles and many lawyers to go today.

After the fact Procurement

Few topics bring controversy to The Company like the issue of a pre-commit.

Technically defined, a pre-commit means that the goods and/or services are received or completed before a PO is cut or contract is in place.

In reality, it means, “aw, just send me the stuff, I’ll figure out how to pay you.”

Which translates into “Procurement? We don’t need no stinking Procurement.”

When you have a workforce made up of a large percentage of engineers, it’s often hard to get in front of these things.

But our old friends Mr. Sarbanes and Mr. Oxley have provided us some ground cover on such things.

With our own implementation of SOX policies, The Company decided to take it to the next level. The Finance organization decided to take a “zero tolerance” policy regarding pre-commits.

Buyers are the watchdogs and kick back Purchase Requisitions with dates that don’t look right (as compared to quotes, invoices, start dates listed, etc.)

When a PR is generated, the person starting it has to “confess their sins” and check a box if they’ve made a no-no.

Every work group has a finance person. And said finance person gets beat about the head and neck when a pre-commit is done (the CFO actually runs reports). So in turn they inspect every PR and beat the end users about the head and neck if that check box is ticked. Which makes the end users want to be reeeeeeally sneaky about what information they put on PR’s.

Smart, eh? We haven’t solved the problem. We’ve just made our users sneakier about telling the truth. And, uh, isn’t that counter to everything that SOX stands for?

What they don’t teach in those negotiation classes

You’ve seen ‘em. The ads. Usually in the magazines found in the back of an airplane seat. Targeted to nervous businessmen. Traveling sales-weasels. The insecure.

An overly handsome and too-perfectly coiffed man tosses his head back in an open mouthed laughing “yes!” fists raised pose. Like he’s just closed the deal of a lifetime.

The gatefold ad is hawking negotiation courses. Classes to help you work out better deals. Leave less money on the table. Get one over on your mark (oh, is that me being cynical again?).

Well, negotiation is a tricky thing. While I do think a lot of it can be learned. Like strategies. When they say this you say that kind of information.

But I also firmly believe there is an instinctual aspect of negotiating. You either have it or you don’t. And if you don’t, negotiating is always going to be an uphill endeavor.

Oddly enough, I can negotiate the hell out of just about any deal at work, but at home I have a harder time turning it on. I guess in my “real life” it is real people that I care about. At work, feh, it’s just another sales-weasel trying to make a buck.

But the best negotiation technique I saw, and worked wonderfully, isn’t something you can use all the time. But properly employed, it’s a mood changer.

We were negotiating with a fairly small company. They *really* wanted this deal. But because they were an upstart, they were kind of rigid about things (like payment terms, etc). They weren’t acting like “a small company” they were acting like “mom and pop widget shop”. This deal with The Company represented a LOT of growth and income for them. And The Company doesn’t take kindly to not getting their own way. Especially when we’re making a small company very wealthy.

Never let it be said that doing business with The Company is easy.

Negotiations were dragging on. Supplier whined about every little change our Legal had made to their precious Terms and Conditions which were clearly written by a $500 an hour outside council with butt cheeks clenched a little too tightly. Because they were too small to have a full time inside council. They mainly didn’t want to have to pay $500 an hour for their attorney to review changes, actually.

So we tried to be understanding. My Legal person is a career corporate lawyer and has a good business head to boot. She’s been at The Company about twenty years. Gets Christmas cards from the CEO. Like that.

We got creative. We tried being demanding. We got about 80% of the way through the changes and it was exhausting every step of the way. We were down to a really stupid term they were arguing. Pittance really, but important to The Company (for stupid reasons I won’t expand upon).

The CEO of Supplier, a small time shyster of a man, was our negotiation partner. What does that say about the size of the company, eh?

And suddenly he got very rigid. Dug his heels right in. Got a petulant look like a child. Folded arms. Stamping foot. The whole thing.

We tried and tried to argue our point. I did my persuasive best. The client worked on it. The Legal person did their full court press.

Nope. Nyerhe. Nada.

Standstill.

And my Legal then, with anger flushed face, rose from her chair. Walked slowly from the conference room. And slammed the door behind her. Leaving me, the client, and the Supplier staring in silence.

Silence.

I personally had no idea what to do. So in what can be considered the wisest negotiation technique ever employed, I said nothing. I gave my client a look that said, “don’t speak,” and he was smart enough to comply. We stared at rigid CEO. He stared back. I started tidying up the papers around me. As though I was about to leave too.

And the sputtering began. “But…but…but………”

Rigid CEO started to grok that The Company was walking away from the deal. And the balance tipped.

See, a negotiation is a lot about who needs who more. And CEO blinked first.

By the time Legal had gone to the restroom, gotten a coffee drink and returned to the table, Rigid CEO was in a much more agreeable mood.

And the deal was finished.

And at no point did anyone throw their head back, open mouthed grin and do the fist pump “yes!”

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