My title is bigger than YOUR title!

My work life has entered the ridiculous mode today. We just finished a high dollar contract. A HUGE deal. And as such, a very high level person in the company needs to be the one to sign it. This particular C-level exec is a mentor of mine, but is known to be a skosh erratic.

My employee, in a rush to get everything done in the rush demanded, wants to get this C-level to sign the Word document she printed out. Meaning C-level would sign first, before the supplier or anyone else.

Had to sit her down, slow her down and explain.

This C-level is VERY proud of the C in his title. And as such, likes to be the highest ranking person in the room, and on the document.

He won’t sign unless he’s the very LAST signature. He likes to see the food chain clearly laid out in pen and ink with him on top.

So my employee said “but wouldn’t go faster if we just signed it and handed it off to the supplier?” Yes. But…

One doesn’t argue with a C-level. At least not at The Company. The wild gyrations of a C-level is an integral part of our corporate culture. It’s what we do.

And so to keep the peace, we work a little harder and not much smarter and we make the high ranking people feel special.

Meanwhile, we’re just happy to have this crazy contract done. A few extra steps on the road might just be worth that satisfaction.

It doesn’t have to be this hard…

…it really doesn’t.

So what I want to know is how can Big Telco Company continue to be Big Successful Telco Company when they can’t manage to get their billings, their contracts or their story straight?

Most recent: We negotiated with Big Telco Company for some services. Quite a large list. They provided quotes, we reviewed, we negotiated, we yelled, we held our breath until we turned blue and we finally settled.

We have a final list of services and prices and we said yes, this list is correct…now go make the documents for us to sign and be quick about it.

During negotiations, I very *pointedly* told Executive of Big Telco Company that I wanted the contracts right this time. They always get them wrong. I was tired of < curse word>’ing around. I was *assured* they would be right this time.

They returned the fresh documents to us. My very Conscientious Employee put the quote and the contract side by side to do a final review.

And the docs are wrong. Not a little wrong, wrong on EVERY line item. And if Conscientious Employee hadn’t put the work into it, we might have just signed it.

How can a large and successful company do business this way? And how can The Company, also large and successful, keep putting up with this?

I have that special brand of hostile brewing today known only to a long suffering Procurement Professional.

*blink, blink*

“Oh! I didn’t know I was supposed to work with Procurement!”

Exclaimed the falsely humble Sales Weasel on a rough start Monday morning.

I don’t know who I am more cheesed at, the supplier, who should know better, or my client who DOES know better.

Well, I can exert more SOX fueled beatings on my internal client, so I’ll start there.

But in my fifteen years of being a Procurement Professional, I’m real tired of the, “oh, I didn’t know” excuse.

You knew. You just don’t want to deal with me. I get it. I make your life hard. I make you cut your margins and thus, comissions. I make you step up to the plate and do honest business. My client throws money at you. I horde it like Ebeneezer. I wouldn’t want to deal with me either.

But don’t blow sunshine up my pants leg.

And just cuz you decided to give me that false deer-in-headlights, hand to God, “I swear officer” B.S., I might even make it real, real hard on you.

“Oh, I’m *sorry*, I didn’t know I was supposed to get this deal done by your quarter end! Myyyyy bad!”

Gotta take your kicks where you can.

Yipes

Yipes

Been reading Dilbert for a lot of years in the paper and recently on the website. It’s an every morning “must hit”.

This week it’s been interesting because it looks like Wally is about to be fired.

I found that an odd story twist.

Then while browsing the headlines, I saw this story.

Yikers, fired for posting a Dilbert comic? Geez!

Well, to be fair, given that layoffs were imminent at the guy’s employer, people were probably extra *sensitive*.

But then in his dilbert.blog from back in December, Scott Adams says, “Over the years, a number of people have approached me in public, or e-mailed me, to say they also got fired for posting Dilbert comics on walls. I don’t know how many of those stories, if any, are true.”

Erm. Being a fan of Dilbert, I’ve been known to post a few.

This caused me to vault from my chair and look at my office window.

What’s that, bottom center? A Dilbert comic!

I didn’t even remember which one I posted, but I scanned it hurriedly to see if my understanding Boss Lady would be offended.

Which strip is it, you ask?

This one.

Phew. See? I’m not insulting my boss, I’m insulting my suppliers!

That kind of insulting might just get me promoted if I don’t watch out!!

The Value of Technology

Today, I am really grateful for certain technical advances.

For me to say that is something special. See, I’m a certified curmudgeon.

Some might even call me a bit of a Luddite.

Ok, I’m not quite that bad, but it’s true, I don’t always get the full value out of technology thingies.

But today I am thankful, once again, for a certain form of technological advances.

That advance would be the all-in-one copier, printer, scanner and fax. The good kind. Industrial strength.

The Company invested in these little wonders a couple years back and it took me at least that long to figure out how to program my email address into it.

But today, as I was cranking through closing deals (I closed three contracts today, thankyouverymuch) I was happy for that scanner/email functionality. And for the recent view of most lawyers that a scanned or fax copy is as good as a real ink on paper copy.

No more whining fax machine. No more cumbersome FedEx envelopes and desperately trying to make cut off times. Heck, even if a supplier has uptight attorneys and I need to send a hard copy, the rush isn’t there because they will usually start work on a scan copy.

And The Company put these things in every copy room, so no wearing out shoe leather to find one.

It’s a little marvel that has made my job that much easier. Plus allows us to have a real, honest to goodness online document repository. How ’bout that?

Works like a charm, except when the machine breaks down…then I’m all of the sudden at a loss how to get things done anymore.

Yup, this old dog can be taught a few new tricks. Don’t tell, ok? I have a rep. to protect.

The essence of Procurement

Sign seen yesterday in a bathroom stall at a local hospital:

“Please do not use excessive amounts of toilet paper.

Thank you.

Procurement”

I cursed that I didn’t have my camera with me. As I would post that photo outside my office.

It was, in the span of twelve words, the very essence of the Value of Procurement.

RFwhatnow?

Sitting Client’s staff meeting today, I once again had to explain that age-old Procurement conundrum.

If we are going out to bid, is that an RFQ? RFP? or RFI?

My client usually says, “let’s do an RFwhatever” then waves his hand dismissively. That hand wave says “you are my Purchasing minion, make it so” and I do.

But for some reason on a current project we’re looking at, Client *insists* this is an RFQ. It’s not. What he really wants is a full-blown RFP with words and network diagrams and dollars and the full boat.

And I’ve explained:

An RFQ means request for quote. Meaning you are *only* asking for a dollar quote. Maybe a few words about how they’ll get it done, but mainly and RFQ is about the dollars.

An RFP means request for proposal. That means you want dollars quoted and some proposal words about how the supplier thinks they are going to get the work done.

And just for giggles, and RFI is a request for information. Meaning you are just asking some questions. They can be about almost anything, pricing and otherwise, but it’s informal and you don’t intend to make an award off of an RFI. You are really just polling the marketplace to see if anyone can actually do what you want.

I’ve explained this before, but this executive is just *certain* he wants an RFQ.

So fine, we’ll call it that.

And in my document that goes out, the first line on the title page of my document will say: Request for Proposal.

A Procurement Geek has to have standards…:)

The Sales Weasel makes all the difference.

It’s true, isn’t it? You get a good one, and your life as a Procurement Professional becomes a bit easier. I mean, you stay on your guard, of course, but when you get a salesperson who “gets it”, it makes all the difference in the deal.

When you get one that’s all about the commission check, or has no pull with their own company, or just doesn’t care, it’s like pushing a jell-o boulder uphill. In a snowstorm.

What’s worse?

When you have a good sales rep, have built a many year relationship, they know your company enough to anticipate your response to issues and don’t even bother with early stupid quotes. That’s when you are cruising…and then that sales rep has done such a good job, they get promoted. Or put on a bigger account. Or on a “troubled” account since the one they have seems to be running so smoothly “anyone can do it”, right?

Then you get this follow up joker. The ne’er do well. Hey, the account is running so smooth, even this yo-yo can manage it.

Grrrrrgh!

Square one. That where I realized we are, today, on a conference call. Was running through a proposed amendment with the new sales guy. The last guy “got it”. I could say “I don’t like this section, you know why” and he’d be like “yep, yep, let me get that taken out” and he would. Or he’d have REALLY darn good and meaningful reason why it had to stay.

This guy was like, “wait…I don’t understand…you don’t want that language? But…why?” So I explained.

“Oh. Uh. I don’t think they’ll go for that.”

Yes they will, Sparky, you just need courage of your convictions. And a willingness to fight on my behalf.

*sigh*

It’s like sitting at a hot blackjack table, on a roll, hitting 21 effortlessly, then they bring in a new dealer. It just ruins ALL the mojo.

When is it too much?

What is the dividing line to gauge how much you should push a supplier? I suppose it depends in the supplier. And the deal. And the clients involved.

But when does “hard negotiating” cross a line into bullying?

This is a topic on my mind lately. We’re engaged in a tough battle with a long-term supplier (like the better part of ten years).

Granted, they have screwed up in this past year. They have been reorganizing, cutting staff, “getting down to core competencies” and such. And they probably deserve to be boxed ’round the ears.

But when it is too much? And when do I, as the Procurement Agent, step up and say, “that’s enough”?

Or do I?

Last week a member of the team stood up and said, “I think all this posturing borders on ridiculous.” I applauded him. And he was soundly shouted down by his manager, the highest-ranking member of our team.

So do I let it continue because it’s what “an executive” wants?

I’m troubled.

This same executive will probably complain to me mid-year when this supplier has stopped responding to calls entirely.

For now, I have to stick to “the plan”, but the days are tough when I sit in the room, red faced at the antics of my own team.

Such is the lament of Procurement.