The Audacity of Sales Weasel

Should that be the title of my memoirs regarding my long and storied Procurement career? The cover will feature a photo of me, looking thoughtful, out at the horizon, pondering my retirement.

We’ve got a very anxious supplier on our hands. A good company by all accounts, but a real bunch of snakes in their sales department.

My rock star contracts person has negotiated the hell out of the master agreement. She’s down to the last three or so issues and now at an impasse, she made the wise move to “escalate” the discussions. Great. She brings in her boss (me) and the boss of her sales weasel.

Fine. We dance the dance.

Manager of Sales Weasel is really laying it on thick. I bat down one point. Then the next.

They express shock that we have a problem with something they want.

I express shock then trump them with utter disbelief that they would ask for this “give” when Client Director has been telling them from day one in every meeting (about three months worth) that this one point is a no-go.

See, this animal knows as the Sales Weasel has a “feature” known as selective memory. They recall what they want to hear and forget anything that doesn’t jive with enhancing the size of their commission.

Chests were puffed. Threats were made to walk away (by me).

Threats were made in return.

I know they are desperate for this business. They told me so (leverage, people!). They told me in the first meeting they “would do anything to do business with The Company”. I haven’t dropped that one back on them yet, but I will.

Meanwhile, I ended the meeting. Told them we needed to talk to The Client. They said, “we’re available all afternoon”.

Oh, yeah…they won’t get a call today…

I’m hoping the deafening roar of a phone that doesn’t ring will speak volumes.