Tell me what you want, what you really, really want

: smack hand to head :

I can’t believe I just used a Spice Girls reference to make a procurement point. But I did.

Yesterday, I attended one of the most frustrating bidder conferences of my life.

And I’ve been at this awhile. That’s saying something!

As mentioned yesterday, I’ve been pulled in to help on a RFP for a different group.

I didn’t write or put out the RFP document, but I’m left having to interpret and defend it.

As the bidder’s conference progressed into its second hour yesterday as questions fell like torrential rain, one thing became perfectly clear.

The Client doesn’t really know what he wants.

Oh, he’s got a grand vision in his head about what he *wishes* he could have. But he’s got zero idea how to take his vision, properly explain it, set boundaries, and ask a vendor to deliver it.

The omnipresent “they” say that the definition of art is seeing clearly a vision of what you want to produce then actually making it so, or as close to your vision as possible.

Now, I’m not going to say that this small dollar, nice to have procurement is anything related to art, but I at least have sympathy for how hard it is to convert your pie in the sky to a slice of blueberry on a plate.

That presto chango type of work is why procurement exists. We’re not the idea guys, we’re the “we’ll get you want you want/need” guys. But you have to tell us what that is, first.

I’m disappointed because I think my colleague, who is a fine procurement professional, cut some corners on this RFP out of frustration with The Client.

Goodness only knows how the proposals will come back.

I’m guessing there won’t be a lot of blueberry pie in those three ring binders.

It’s not all sunshine and lollipops

For as much as I love being a “Procurement Guy”, there are definitely things I *don’t* love about this gig.

One of my fellow managers is having a spot of trouble. Only recently fully staffed, the news just came through that two veterans on the team are going out on medical leave.

A real bad spot for this busy time of year.

So I volunteered to help pull the load. Despite my manager status, I can still find my way around a contract or two.

The first project I’ve been pulled into is an RFP. Only four suppliers, that’s not bad. The short description of the deal doesn’t sound too awful.

Today we have the vendor’s conference, so the RFP document was hastily sent my way so I could “get up to speed”.

See photo below. That’s the actual stack. It measures in at just about half an inch and rivals reading the dictionary for pure excitement value.

It’s probably inappropriate for me as a procurement professional to say…but I *haaaate* reading RFP’s.

Oh, and I have two hours to get through it.

By the way, the only thing worse than reading an RFP is reading the volumes of pages you get in response.

My procurement rule of thumb is “for every page of RFP you send out, you get two in return”. I can hardly wait for the inch and a half responses times FOUR suppliers.

Ugh.

Back to work.

Force Majeure

Ah yes. The good ol’ Force Majeure clause.

A must have in every contract.

I always rather enjoy reading various supplier’s take on this clause.

Floods, labor strikes, calamity, fire, Acts of God, famine, locusts, Hellfire and Brimstone, hangnails, the coming of the Apocalypse…all of it.

We don’t gotta perform if any of that happens.

It’s easy to overlook the clause, or skim glance it as you race to the finish line with a contract. I mean, really…it’s just an insurance policy, right? No big deal, yes add it in, no problem. Of course.

Until you have a Force Majeure “event” and suddenly that clause looks REALLY interesting.

Of course, the biggest Force Majeure event in recent history was the attack on the World Trade Center. Post 9/11 a LOT of lawyers were looking a lot more closely at their contracts. Soon after the phrase “acts of terrorism” was added to the list of pestilence.

So The Company recently had what can best be described as a Force Majeure event. Thankfully no one was hurt, but it wasn’t pretty. A lot of shuffling about of people and equipment and a lot of sys admin overtime has taken place to get everything back together.

And your intrepid Procurement Professional is turning to many a contract to be sure we’re properly Force Majeure’d up.

Funny what you take for granted until it reaches up and smacks you across the chops.

Image via.

From The Department Of…

…You can’t make this #$%@ up.

One of the Rock Star Contract people on my team has a HUGE RFP underway.

Yesterday was the due date for the proposals. Every supplier got them turned in on time. Large boxes delivered in mass to the small cubicle.

This morning, Rock Star Contract Person is unpacking boxes and organizing the binders. A familiar job to any procurement person.

You know, let me digress here…I’ve been doing Procurement for about 15 years. I’ve seen it all. Little in this game surprises me anymore.

Today, I am surprised.

A box was opened and there was a “very special” kickback gift from one of our vendors.

See photo below. I’m not making this up. This is *exactly* what was in the box.

I have checked in with my boss as to the correct procedure for handling a vendor enticement of this magnitude…

Second source is a good thing

The mantra of the Procurement Professional, no?

We can all nod and agree it’s a good thing but how many of us actually DO it? It means more suppliers to manage. More contracts to write. More work.

Recently here at The Company, we internally agreed that we’ve got a sole source in a commodity that’s growing rapidly. Year over year the budget on this doubles. Huge dollars all with one provider.

The incumbent is a good supplier. Responsible and quality. But they charge us a lot for the benefit of using their service. Back when they were the only supplier in this space, we paid their bills and did so gladly because of what they could do.

But now there’s competition. There are other companies who can do this better, faster, cheaper. I say again, cheaper.

So we told Incumbent that we were shopping a second source, but I’m not sure they really believed it. Until we actually carved business away from them and gave it to their toughest competitor.

Today, Sales Weasel and Boss Sales Weasel came to my office, hats metaphorically in hand, to ask us what they can do to retain the business.

This, a far cry from a year ago when they told us that they prices they were charging were just what we had to pay. “You want the service, that’s what it costs,” they said. Literally said that.

Today they had all kinds of creative ideas and plans. The conversation was never angry or terse. Finally, we’re back to a place of collaboration.

Yeah. Competition is a good thing. Knowing it and seeing it in action are two entirely different beasts.

Aaaaaand we’re back!

Yes, it’s been far too long since I posted here. Been out on vacation and dealing with a whole host of work kerfuffles.

It happens.

But I’m back to it.

The “You Can’t Make This Up” never ends.